


Don't Forget to Smile

by MaximumAwkward



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, First Meetings, First Time, Forbidden Love, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mutual Pining, Smile Era, Sorry that's here now, Sort of? - Freeform, That's dramatic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-10-22 14:35:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17664500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaximumAwkward/pseuds/MaximumAwkward
Summary: The ad placed on the college notice board reads: "Please apply for position as drummer. Must be able to play like Ginger Baker and Mitch Mitchell."Brian and Tim want to start a band. They need a drummer. Enter Roger Taylor.





	1. He Knows How to Rock and Roll

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's back! This one kind of got away from me and now there's smut. Which is something I've never published before. Once again, this is not beta read, so sorry about that. Find me on Tumblr @Twink-Roger-Taylor, and please leave a comment if you have the time. Thanks, <3

Brian and Tim were sitting in their flat on a Friday afternoon. Brian was working on one of their songs. He was working on the guitar part, and it was finally starting to sound the way he wanted it to. 

“Hey, that’s pretty good! We could really go somewhere with that.” Tim said through a piece of toast as he walked past the couch where Brian was playing.

“Not without a drummer we can’t.” Brian countered easily, this was an age-old argument with them. 

“I’m sure we can find one. There’s got to be hundreds of drummers in London, We’ll put out an ad.”

“What? Like in the classifieds?” Brian scoffed.

“Yeah, we could,” Tim shrugged. “Or we could start smaller, just a poster on the college notice board.”

“Alright Tim, We’ll give it a shot.”

The first step was to make an advertisement. Tim grabbed a pen and a sheet of paper and started to work. “Please apply for position as drummer,” was all that was written so far.

“We should specify what kind of drummer we’re looking for,” Brian suggested.

“Oh, yeah, that’s good. Hmm… How about must be able to play like Ginger Baker and Mitch Mitchell?”

“Yeah! Perfect! That’s specific enough I think.” Finally, they added the number for the phone in their apartment and went out for a pint, stopping to pin up the ad on their way.

* * *

 

Brian honestly didn’t think they would get any serious respondents as a result, he was shocked when Tim came running into the library on Wednesday afternoon. He sat down across from Brian at the table where the taller man had been studying. Brian looked up from his physics textbook.

“What are you doing here Tim?” Brian whispered.

“We’ve gotten a response!” Tim declared. He was angrily shushed by a nearby librarian. Brian apologized.

“Really? That fast?” 

“Yeah! Well, the guy who called isn’t a drummer, but he says his buddy can do it.” Tim was once again shushed. Brian again apologized.

“And we’re just supposed to believe him?” 

“No, you twit. I set up an audition. For Friday night.” The librarian walked over and asked Tim to leave. “Alright, Alright, I’ll leave in a moment.” Tim waved the librarian off. “But, there’s a problem, I have a date on Friday, so you’ll have to go on your own.” Tim stood up and started walking away.

“Wait, you’re not even gonna meet the guy?” 

“I’m sure if he’s good enough for your high standards, he’ll be good enough for me.” Tim winked at Brian and left the library. Brian put his head down in his textbook. This wasn’t going to go well for him.

* * *

 

Several desperate phone calls later, Brian had booked the Jazz Club Room of the college for Friday evening. He and his guitar were first to arrive and he stood in the middle of the room glancing nervously between his watch and the door. 

Finally, a man carrying a bass drum walked through the door.

“Uh, hi. I’m here for the audition?” The man said and put down the bass drum next to where Brian was standing. He stuck his hand out for Brian to shake. Brian took it dumbly, suddenly struck by the beauty in front of him. The man was lean with soft features and blonde hair. He was undeniably attractive and his small smile made Brian’s stomach flip. Brian could feel himself gaping but quickly recovered.

“I’m Brian,” He said. “Brian May.” 

“Roger Taylor. Great to meet you, mind helping me? The rest of the kit’s out in my car.” Roger gestured to the bass drum. Brian nodded and followed Roger outside.

With all of the drums now in the practice room, Brian sat back and watched Roger set up. He tried to focus on being professional, rather than the curve of Roger’s arse as he bent over tightening and arranging cymbals and drums. Brian tried to distract himself with conversation.

“So, I haven’t seen you around before…” He said casually.

“No, you wouldn’t have. I go to the medical college.” Roger said not looking up from the snare he was setting up.

“Oh. Studying to be a doctor?” Brian grimaced slightly at the dullness of this conversation.

“A dentist actually. I really hate it, but I hear it pays well so…” He shrugged. “What do you study?”

“Astrophysics.”

“Ooh, a real brainiac.” Roger teased. Brian felt his face heat up slightly but chuckled along.

“Have you ever been in a band before?” Brian asked, trying to keep things professional.

“Oh yeah. A couple, actually I’m in one right now, but obviously, I’m trying to leave.”

“Can I ask why?”

“It’s just not really working, they’ve got me singing lead, which is fun, but I’d rather be drumming. And we haven’t gotten anything done. They’d rather debate who the best guitarist of all time is instead of making music. Which is a huge waste of time because everyone already knows the right answer is-“

“Jimi Hendricks.” Brian and Roger said at the same time.

“Yes exactly…” Roger said breathily.

Once everything was in place, Brian had expected Roger to ask for some kind of direction, but the other man sat at his drum kit and began to tap at the drums with his sticks, hitting different areas as he went. At one point, he tapped a spot and made a face somewhere between a grimace and a look of confusion. As if to say: “No, that’s not right at all.” He then took a small key like object out of his pocket and used it to turn a lug on the side of the drum. He repeated this process several times. Finally, Brian couldn’t take anymore.

“What are you doing?” He asked. Roger looked at him like he was an idiot.

“I’m tuning the drums, what does it look like I’m doing?” He responded.

“Well, I don’t know, I’ve never… You can tune drums?” Brian immediately knew that was the wrong thing to say.

“Of bloody course, you can tune drums. Jesus. Typical guitarist, all you care about is the guitar.”

“That’s not true! And how was I supposed to know? The guys I’ve worked with, they just sort of buying a kit and hit it.” Roger laughed.

“Drums are like sex that way. Everyone has more fun if you take your time.” Roger winked.“And of course, I’m amazing at both.” Brian choked but managed to cover it with a laugh. 

“And humble too.” He said.

“Bah, life’s short, who’s got time for humility?” Roger flashed Brian the cockiest smile the older man had ever seen.“Can I get back to it? Or do you have more questions?” Brian raised his hands in mock surrender and Roger returned his attention to tuning his drums.

After the drums were tuned, to what Brian assumed was the other man’s satisfaction, Roger finally looked to Brian for some instruction.

“So,” He said a little awkwardly. “Do you want me to play anything in particular or…?”

“Oh! Yeah! Sorry.” Brian grabbed the sheet music he’d brought with him, it was for one of the songs he and Tim had written. “Here, give this a try.” He handed the paper over to Roger. Roger studied it for a moment and then began to try out the beat.

He didn’t just hit the drums and call that good. Instead, he rolled his beats and combined beats on drums with cymbals in a way Brian had never seen before. It reminded Brian of a military drummer, but it sounded better than any drumming Brian had heard before. Brian had intended to keep his eyes on Roger’s hands, after all, those were relevant parts of Roger for this very professional audition. Unfortunately, discipline was never Brian’s greatest strength and he found his eyes wondering to Roger’s face. The blonde’s lips were slightly parted and his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. 

“You’re amazing,” Brian said, breathless. Roger stopped drumming.

“Sorry did you say something?” He asked.

“No, no,” Brian said hurriedly. “Just talking to myself, feel free to keep going.” Roger flashed a thumbs up and continued his drumming. Brian watched as Roger ad-libbed and embellished the previously simple drum beat. Brian felt completely dumbstruck. When Roger finished the song, Brian had to stop himself from doing anything stupid, like proposing marriage. So he didn’t say anything. He and Roger stared at each other for an uncomfortable moment. Finally, Roger spoke:

“That good huh? You’re speechless?” He sounded nervous but smiled when Brian started to laugh.

“Yeah, it was pretty good. What’s with that little roll thing you were doing?”

“Well, it’s called technique Brian.” Brian felt embarrassed like he should have known that already. “Look, you can’t just hit the drums, one at a time and be done with it. It’s got to be fluid and coherent. Like, when I hit the snare, I’ll usually do something with the high hat to go with it.” Brian nodded along, totally amazed. Roger laughed. “Man, all of your old drummers must have been shit.” Compared to Roger, Brian was inclined to agree.

Roger took a quick break and drank some water, then Brian grabbed his guitar.

“I was thinking you and I could play something together? Just to sort of see how we sound. We’ll stick with the same song, I think, sound good?” Brian asked in a rush as if he were afraid of Roger’s answer. 

“Yeah, sounds great. Do you do the vocals along with the guitar?” Roger smiled softly and looked at Brian, whose treacherous stomach once again did a backflip.

“Oh, no. That’s Tim. He plays bass and sings lead. So we’ll just have to make do for now.” He walked closer to Roger and began to play the opening of the song. With no drums in the intro, Roger decided to chime in with the lyrics. Brian’s fingers nearly slipped when he heard the blonde sing. His voice was nearly as incredible as his drumming. The two made eye contact and Roger smiled at him once again. Then Roger began drumming. Immediately Brian was struck with how right it sounded. It was like they were meant to play together. Then they reached the section that was just intense drums and guitar, and it was like magic, both of them going at it as hard as they could despite being alone in the small room. Brian moved closer to Roger and the two played while not breaking eye contact. Roger had begun to bite his lip and it was driving Brian absolutely insane. But, he was a professional, he tried to focus on just playing the song. 

After what seemed like both too much and not enough time, the song ended. The two men two men stared at each other for a moment.

“That was…” Brian started. 

“Amazing.” He and Roger finished at the same time. Roger looked away from Brian quickly and coughed awkwardly. Brian put his guitar down and walked behind Roger’s drum kit. The still blushing blonde looked up at the taller man from his stool. Before he could lose his nerve, Brian leaned down and connected their lips. Roger returned the kiss and threw his arms around Brian’s neck. The kiss became more heated, and soon the two were eagerly exploring each other’s mouths. Suddenly, Roger pushed Brian away from him. Brian backed away immediately.Roger opened his mouth to say something, but Brian cut him off.

“I’m sorry, that was incredibly unprofessional, I don’t know what came over me. Except I do, because you’re very talented and very attractive and I’ve wanted to do that since you started tuning your drums.” Brian said without taking a breath.

“Brian, Brian, it’s fine. Great even, I’d love to get right back to it, I just wanted to be sure that you’re sure.

“Yes.” Brian tried to sound confident, but his voice squeaked slightly. 

“Great. Now, get back here and kiss me again.” Roger accompanied his words with a come here gesture and Brian complied without hesitation. The pair made out for another couple minutes with Brian’s hands on Roger’s arse and Roger’s fisted in Brian’s shirt. Roger once again broke the kiss, but this time his hands kept Brian right where he stood.

“Brian,” He whispered. “Have you ever had sex behind a drum kit?”

“No,” Brian answered truthfully, “Can’t say that I have. Have you?”

“No…Wanna try it?” Brian nodded enthusiastically. He lifted Roger off of his stool and deposited them both on the floor. They returned to kissing. Roger was on his back on the floor with his legs wrapped around Brian’s hips. They moved together as they once again explored each other’s mouths. Without stopping, Roger fiddled with the buttons on Brian’s shirt in an attempt to get it open. He was unsuccessful, so gave up and instead flipped their positions so that Brian was on the floor and Roger was above him. 

“Jesus…” He muttered as he ran his hands down Brian’s legs. “Legs for days…” Roger let out a small laugh, and Brian laughed along, though his face was slightly red. Roger turned his attention to freeing Brian’s cock from his trousers. Brian let out an embarrassing groan as soon as Roger grabbed his cock, but Roger didn’t seem to mind, too preoccupied with his task at hand. He pulled Brian’s cock out and held it by the base. He licked a stripe from the base to the tip. Then he took as much of it into his mouth as he could, which turned out to be most of it. Brian swore.

“What was that?” Brian asked. Roger pulled his mouth off.

“Well, it’s called technique Brian.” He said with a wink. Brian snorted. “Any other questions?”

“No, just get on with it you tease.” Brian laughed. Roger smiled but did as he was asked. Part of Roger wanted to draw this out and show Brian exactly how much of a tease he could be. The other part was desperately hard in his jeans and wanted to see the older man come undone. The later plan won out and he once again took Brian into his mouth. He hollowed his cheeks and bobbed his head. Brian laced his fingers in Roger’s hair close to the nape of his neck and Roger hummed, pleased. Brian let out a loud moan. Roger felt encouraged and doubled down his efforts. Soon enough, Brian felt his balls tighten.

“Roger I’m gonna-“ Brian groaned. He came down Roger’s throat who swallowed to the best of his ability. Brian sat up and pulled the smaller man into his lap. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed deeply. “Roger, baby, what do you need?” Brian grimaced internally at the use of the pet-name but hoped Roger wouldn’t notice.

“Just touch me. Touch me, please Brian.” Roger whined. Brian tried to get his hand down Roger’s jeans, but they were too tight. He growled in frustration and pushed Roger onto the ground. The pair wrestled with Roger’s jeans a little longer, but finally, Brian was able to get Roger free. He immediately wrapped his hand around Roger’s cock and began to jerk him off. Roger moaned and bucked up into Brian’s hand. Without removing his hand, Brian moved so he could kiss Roger again. Eventually, kissing devolved into the pair panting into each other’s mouths. 

“I’m close.” Roger suddenly gasped out. Brian sped up his movement.

“C’mon Roger. Come for me.” Brian whispered against Roger’s lips. Roger groaned and did as he was told. 

Brian wiped his hand on his shirt. He knew he would regret it later, but he couldn’t really think of a better solution. Brian and Roger sat next to each other on the floor for a moment, neither really sure what to say, until finally, Brian broke the silence.

“So… do you wanna come back to mine?” He asked. 

“That depends… Am I your new drummer?” Roger countered.

“The position’s yours if you want it.”

“Oh and I do. There are several positions I want.” Brian rolled his eyes but laughed despite himself. He rested his forehead on Roger’s shoulder and thought about how this was the start of something great. 


	2. Love Him from Where You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after their eventful first meeting Brian introduces Roger to Tim. Smile plays their very first gig. Roger makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all! I'm alive! It's been a while but I'm finally turning this into a multi-chapter thing! As always I am without a beta reader and making most things up as I go along. The title is from "Polar Bear" by Smile. Find me on Tumblr @Twink-Roger-Taylor, and please leave a comment if you have the time. Thanks, <3

Brian awoke to the sound of knocking at his door. He looked at the sleeping blond in his arms and cursed whoever was on the other side of that door. Brian quickly detangled himself from Roger, who whined, but didn’t wake up.

“Go back to sleep,” Brian whispered and pecked Roger on the lips before answering the door.

“Good morning, Brian. It looks like you had a good night.” Tim said with a smile, craning his neck slightly to look past Brian into Brian’s room. “Who’s the bird?” Tim asked in a whisper. Brian groaned and closed the door.

“Not a bird.” He said with his head in his hands. “That’s our new drummer.”

“Holy shit. Brian, what were you thinking?” Tim punched Brian in the arm.

“I know, I know, but we played together, and he’s really good, and we were really good together, and I don’t know it just happened.”

“Jesus Christ Brian! Tell me he’s of age at least.” Tim ran his hand through his hair.

“Erm…” Brian had neglected to ask how old Roger was, it hadn’t seemed relevant at the time.

“Okay, well fine, it doesn’t matter, this can’t happen again.”

“Tim, what the hell? That’s not up to you!”

“Brian, you’re a smart man, think with your brain instead of your cock! If you want this band to go anywhere you can’t be shagging our possibly underage drummer.” Tim had a point, a secret relationship was the exact opposite of what Brian needed at the moment, and if he and Roger dated and then broke up, there’s no telling what that could do to the band. He’d honestly rather play music with Roger than have sex with him. Keeping their relationship professional or at least friendly was the smart choice. “Listen, just deal with it, alright? And make it quick, I want to start practicing tonight.” Brian nodded. The two went into the kitchen to get started on breakfast. Tim started up the coffee pot, then sat down at the kitchen table. Brian began to pull ingredients out of the fridge. The pair were silent, Brian was focussed on what he was going to do about Roger.

He was scrambling eggs when Roger came up behind him. The smaller man wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist and rested his chin on Brian’s shoulder.

“Good morning.” Roger hummed. “Awful nice of you to make breakfast, though it’s a little late to pretend you’re a gentleman.” He pressed a kiss to Brian’s neck. Brian stopped scrambling the eggs and turned around.

“Excuse you, I am a perfect gentleman.” He said indignantly. Then he noticed what the blonde was wearing and his mind froze for a moment. Roger was wearing Brian’s button-up from last night and not much else.

“Pretty sure a gentleman wouldn’t have shagged me on the floor of a university classroom.”

“Alright, fine. But then you wouldn’t have wanted a gentleman.” Brian said and put his frying pan on the stove. Roger just smiled cheekily. Tim cleared his throat.

“Sorry, Roger, this is Tim Staffell. He’s my flatmate and he plays the bass.” Brian said with a very apparent blush on his face. Tim and Roger awkwardly greeted each other and shook hands.

“Well, this has been lovely, but I’ve got to go to work. I’ll see both of you tonight, practice starts at eight.” Tim said standing up from the table. He shot Brian a pointed look as he grabbed his coat and walked out the front door.

There were a few moments of silence before finally, Brian spoke up.

“Roger, I’ve got to ask, how old are you?” He said. The smile dropped from Roger’s face.

“Look, that law’s bollocks and you know it! It shouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t matter if one of us were a girl.”

“Roger, please,” Brian said quietly, not looking at Roger.

“Fine. I’m nineteen.” Brian swore. “Oi! None of that. It doesn’t matter!” Roger raised his voice.

“I wish it didn’t Roger, but- Look, us being in a relationship puts the band in jeopardy.” Roger opened his mouth to argue, but Brian cut him off. “You know it’s true.” Roger looked at the kitchen table sadly. “Roger, I like you, a lot, but we both know the music is going to come first. The band is better off if we’re just friends.” Roger sighed and then stayed quiet for a long time.

“You’re right. Of course, you’re right. Friends is good.” He finally said.

“Friends is good,” Brian repeated and returned to cooking.

* * *

 

Once again, Brian was the first to arrive at rehearsal. He was humming with nervous energy and soon regretted leaving his flat so early. He wasn’t sure he had made the right choice that morning. On the one hand, a relationship with Roger would be difficult, even dangerous, on the other hand, Brian thought it might be worth it. He was mentally deliberating when Roger walked in. The two greeted each other awkwardly and then set up Roger’s drums without speaking. The tension in the air was palpable and Brian felt like he was choking on it. The pair busied themselves with tuning their instruments while Brian prayed for Tim to show up soon.  
Unfortunately, Brian’s guitar didn’t need that much tuning. He set it down. He glanced up at Roger, who looked up at the same time. The pair blushed and quickly looked away. Brian glanced at his watch without registering what time it was.

“What time is it?” Roger asked. Brian realized he didn’t actually know and checked again.

“Ten ‘till,” he said and smiled awkwardly. Tim was likely to show up right on time. Brian stood awkwardly for a moment before picking his guitar up. He started to strum out a riff he was working on. It was different from the stuff he usually wrote, but it wouldn’t leave him alone. He briefly registered that Roger had stopped tuning the drums and was listening to Brian play. He felt his face heat up but continued to play. When he reached the end of what he had written, he looked up at Roger.

“What’d you think?” He asked quietly.

“It’s beautiful,” Roger said earnestly. Brian’s heart swelled. “Does it have lyrics yet?”

“Oh! No!” Brian said quickly. “It’s not even a finished guitar piece.”

“Oh, well, you should finish it. It’s really good. What do you think it’ll be about?” Brian considered this for a moment. His first thought was that it would be about Roger. He felt like he wanted to write a hundred songs about him. But he wasn’t about to say that.

“I dunno. I’ll think of something eventually…” The conversation trailed off, but Roger didn’t continue to tune his drums, leaving silence to hang heavily in the air, that is until a loud knock at the door rang through the room. Brian jumped to answer the door. It was Tim, his arms full of equipment.

“Ah, thanks, Brian. Sorry, I’m late.” Tim said walking through the door.

“I hadn’t noticed,” Brian said honestly, then checked his watch, sure enough, it was a quarter past the hour.

“Great. Brian, you tuned up?” Brian made nodded and made a noise of affirmation. “Good. I should still be tuned from earlier, but I’ll just check…” Tim said and played a quick scale. “Sounds good. Let’s get started.”

“Hang on. I’m not done tuning the drums.” Roger interjected.

“Sorry, you’re not what?”

“I’ve got to tune the drums,” Roger said snippily.

“Oh, this I’ve got to see.”Tim scoffed. He turned to face the drum kit with his arms crossed. Roger rolled his eyes dramatically before starting work on his floor tom. He repeated the process Brian had seen the night before. Gently tapping with his sticks and occasionally turning the bolts on the side. Brian watched with a small smile glancing between Roger’s face of concentration and Tim’s of amazement.

“Okay, I’m good now,” Roger said after a few moments.

“I’ll be damned. Tuning drums, now I’ve seen everything.” Tim mumbled as he plunged his bass into an amp. “Okay, We’re playing the pub near campus in three weeks, so we should figure out what we’re playing.”

“You’ve booked us a gig already? We’ve only been a band since last night!” Brian said.

“We’re great individually, and at the very least a band is the sum of its parts, right? We’ve got three whole weeks, and we’ve got songs, that’s the most important part.” Brian thought about the songs they’d written scattered between several sheets of notebook paper with lines crossed out and notes scribbled in the margins. Then he thought about all the school work he had in the next three weeks. The term was quickly drawing to a close.

“Tim’s right, Brian, we can do this. And we should just jump right in if we wait we may never do it.” Roger said. Brian opened his mouth to disagree, but then he looked at Roger, he wanted this to work, if only for the excuse to spend time with Roger.

“Okay, let’s do this,” Brian said with weak enthusiasm.

“Alright, so anyway, as I was saying before Brian’s little episode, we need to pick a set list. I’m thinking we start with ‘If I Were a Carpenter’ and then-“

“The bloody Bobby Darin song? I thought this was a rock band!” Roger interrupted. Brian and Tim laughed.

“Don’t you worry, pet, it’s rock n’ roll all right,” Brian said with a wink and gestured to Tim to start playing the song. Roger leaned back on his stool with his arms crossed, silently daring the other two to impress him. As soon as Tim started singing Roger’s eyebrows shot up and he leaned forward. By the time Brian played his guitar solo, he was completely sold. The other two finished playing and turned to Roger with matching cocky smiles.

“Fuck, I was wrong, what’s the drum part?” Roger said. Brian quickly fetched his handwritten sheet music and began to explain his scribbled notes. Roger was a quick study and soon had the beat down.

“Okay, let’s try it from the top?” Brian suggested. The other two men nodded. Roger counted them down and started in with the drum beat. Brian followed with the guitar and then finally Tim with the lyrics. Brian found himself once again watching Roger as they played the song. Roger met his eyes and they looked away from each other quickly. Brian looked at Tim who raised one of his eyebrows and smirked a little at his bandmates’ behavior. When the song ended Tim walked over to Brian.

“Well, now I understand why you shagged him,” Tim said quietly.

“Shut up Tim.” Brian hissed. Tim just laughed. By eleven they had a solid set to play at the pub in three weeks and Brian was feeling significantly less worried, but even more attracted to Roger. Somewhere around half past nine, Roger had decided the room was to warm and stripped of his shirt. It took all of Brian’s willpower to focus on the music and not the way Roger's stomach flexed as he drummed.

“Okay boys, we’re doing great. With three more weeks of practice, we’ll kill that gig for sure.” Tim said after the trio had decided to end for the night. Roger beamed at the other two and Brian nodded softly despite himself.

* * *

 

The next three weeks went by in a blur. Between tests and papers and band practice and spending time with Roger, Brian was feeling strung out. But his stress was nothing compared to Roger’s. Brian’s new friend was absolutely miserable. The day of the gig, Roger had called the phone in Brian’s flat and in a small tired voice asked if he could come over. Brian had said yes without hesitation, and half an hour later the two sat in Brian’s bedroom. Brian was leaning back in his desk chair while Roger lay on the bed on his stomach with his arms dangling off the foot of the bed. He let out a loud groan. Brian moved to sit on the bed next to Roger.

“What’s the matter?” Brian asked.

“I don’t think I can do it, Brian,” Roger said, his voice trembling slightly. Brian immediately worried that Roger meant Smile.

“What do you mean, Rog?” He asked tentatively.

“I can’t become a dentist.” Brian let out a sigh of relief.

“Then… don’t?”

“Brian…”

“No. Really. Look, you maybe can’t study what you really want to study, but you’re the one who decided on dentistry. Your parents will be mad if you drop out altogether, but it’s not a problem to switch programs.” Brian reasoned calmly. Roger sat up.  
“Yeah but, I need to do something with my life if music doesn’t work out. That’s why you study astrophysics, right?”

“Roger, I study astrophysics because I enjoy it. That’s what you’ve got to do, pick something you can enjoy or at least tolerate long enough to get your degree, and then figure it out from there. Besides, we both know you’re going to be a famous rockstar soon enough.” Brian smiled softly at Roger. Roger chuckled.

“You’re really smart Brian May.” And then Roger kissed Brian. Brian kissed back without even thinking about it. Then he remembered. The two broke apart but kept their faces close together.

“Roger, we can’t,” Brian whispered.

“I know,” Roger whispered back. He sighed wetly and stood up. “I should go get ready for tonight.” Brian nodded.

“Hey, I’ll walk you out.” He said awkwardly. Brian escorted Roger to the front door of his flat. The two were awkwardly saying goodbye when Tim walked through the front door.”

“Oh. Hi guys.” He said. He looked between the other two men and then shot Brian a questioning look. Brian tried not to react.

“Hi Tim, I was just leaving. Bye Brian, bye Tim. I’ll see you guys tonight.” Roger said and quickly slipped out the door.

“What was that all about?” Tim rounded on Brian immediately.

“He came over because he was having a hard time. Bit of a crisis really, about the whole dentistry thing. That’s all. ” Brian said. Tim searched Brian for any sign he was lying.

“You better not be lying to me.” Tim gave Brian one last hard look and then walked past him into the kitchen. Brian put his head in his hands and groaned.

* * *

 

Smile was scheduled to start their set at half past seven. At a quarter past, they ran into the pub and straight to the stage area. The manager gave them an irritated look but didn’t say anything as he helped them with the sound check. Finally, when they were ready and Tim stepped up to the microphone, Brian was hit with a wave of nerves. It must have been evident on his face because when he glanced at Roger the younger man flashed him a smile and a thumbs up. Brian’s chest filled with warmth. He returned his attention to Tim just in time for him to introduce their first song.

Brian tried to focus on his fingering and not the crowd of university students slowly taking an interest in their performance. As promised, they had started with “If I Were a Carpenter” which while initially met with a murmur of confusion, appeared to be popular among the crowd. Brian was so relieved that nothing had gone obviously wrong, there were issues, sure, Roger had rushed the middle section, and Brian had screwed up his fingering near the end, but that was nothing more practice couldn’t fix.

As the band played, their confidence increased and so did the enthusiasm of the crowd. By the end of their final song, the members of Smile were beaming and several people in the pub actually cheered. Tim did a small outro and the trio exited the stage practically jumping for joy.

“We rocked!” Roger shouted slinging his arm around Brian’s shoulders as they walked towards the bar. Brian asked the bartender for two beers and leaned against the bar.

“We certainly did play rock music,” Brian said.

“Oh shut up Mr. Pedantic.” Roger rolled his eyes.

“Ooh careful Rog, that’s a big word.” Brian teased.

“Oi! I did my A-Levels same as everybody else. “ Roger leaned closer to Brian. “And you should already know, I can handle big.” He winked and grabbed his beer. Brian swallowed thickly. Before he could respond Tim walked over followed by a man Brian didn’t recognize.

“There you lot are, I was worried I’d lost you. I want you to meet my mate from school. Freddie, this is Brian, my flatmate, and Roger.” Tim gestured to the two as he said their names. Brian stuck out his hand for Freddie to shake.

“Nice to meet you.” He mumbled.

“What’d you think of our set?” Roger asked.

“Oh, you sounded great,” Freddie said earnestly. “But you need… Showmanship.”

“Showmanship?” Roger repeated skeptically.

“Yes, darling. You can’t just sit up there and play. You have to entertain.” Freddie and Roger became engrossed in a conversation about performance after that. Brian smiled as he watched Roger’s face light up with interest. Suddenly he felt Tim elbow him in the ribs. He turned to look at his friend.

“What?” Brian said.

“Stop staring.”

“M not staring.”

“You were. Brian, I don’t think you’re taking this seriously.” Brian laughed.

“What? Your over-controlling parent act? No, Tim, I’m not.”

“The gig went great tonight. That’s more important than getting your cock wet.” Tim reached around Brian and picked up a bottle of beer. Then he walked away. Brian angrily sipped his beer and watched him go.


	3. Wind Me Up and Get Your Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smile's playing their biggest public performance, this could finally be the big break they've been looking for, but tension is mounting between Roger and Brian that may just get in the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings! I'm a couple of days late on the update, but better a couple of days than a whole month right guys? I'm improving! Title chapter comes from Back Chat by Queen. As usual, this is unbetaed, and dubious on the historical accuracy but, what can you do? I'm not super happy with this chapter, but I like pieces of it. Find me on Tumblr @Twink-Roger-Taylor, and please leave a comment if you have the time! I love hearing from you! <3

By the beginning of spring term, a lot had changed for Smile. They were playing gigs all the time, most of them were in nearby pubs, but as Tim was fond of saying, “A gig is a gig.” and most places gave them free beer. Life had changed the most for Roger. He’d changed to studying biology at a different university. Because of this, he had needed a new place to live, luckily Freddie had been looking for a new flatmate at exactly the same time. And when Roger had been looking for a new job, Freddie had set him up at a clothing stall that he worked at. Brian was simultaneously thrilled and terrified by these developments. Roger was the happiest Brian had ever seen him, but he and Freddie together were a force of chaos.

“So then, this bitch,” Freddie gestured to Roger “sells my jacket. Right off my back! To some tosser-” Freddie ranted to Brian and Tim over drinks on an average Friday night.

“He paid fifty pounds! fifty pounds! That’s almost rent for the month.” Roger interrupted.

“Well, darling, rent won’t much matter if I freeze to death, now will it?”

“Oh piss off Fred, you got your coat back. Stop being such a drama queen.” Roger crossed his arms and glared at Freddie. Freddie copied his posture and the two glared at each other silently for a moment, before they both broke into laughter.

“Well, wait,” Brian said. “If you were wearing the coat, how’d Roger sell it?”

“The guy came up to me, said he was looking for a particular type of jacket, that sounded like the one Freddie was wearing. So I asked Fred for his jacket, he gave it to me, I showed it to the guy, and he said he’d give me fifty pounds for it.” Brian and Tim laughed.

“It’s not funny!” Freddie said. “I had to run after him and convince him to give it back.”

“Yeah, and now we’re back to worrying about rent for this month.” Roger sighed.

“We have to get a gig, a real one, that pays us,” Brian said.

“Look, I’m trying!” Tim said. “But it’s not like people are looking for unknown rock bands right now. If I had someone to help me, it might go faster.” He looked pointedly at Brian.

“Oh sure, Tim. I’ll find time to help you. In between applying for Ph.D. programs and writing my thesis, and conducting my research, building a guitar, oh and tutoring physics to cover your half of the rent.”

“Okay, you know what, this weekend, I’ll find something I promise.”

Brian, Freddie, and Roger were sitting in the living room of Brian’s flat on Sunday afternoon. Roger and Freddie had come over after working at Kensington Market all morning to make sure that Brian didn’t just drown himself in work all day. Freddie had brought over his Scrabble set.

“Hi, Brian. Hi, people who don’t live here.” Tim said as he slumped into the couch.

“Come off it Tim, you love us,” Roger said, not looking up from the board. He was focussed on spelling out his next word.

“Hey now, we said no scientific words,” Brian said pointing at Roger’s freshly placed tiles.

“Mandible isn’t exactly a scientific word.” Roger protested.

“Freddie?”

“Well, I don’t know what it means.” Freddie shrugged. Roger swore and cleared his tiles from the board.

“I have news. If anyone cares.” Tim said.

“Is it good news or are we finally getting evicted?” Brian asked casually.

“It’s good news you twat. Smile has a gig. A real gig that pays money. Just like you wanted.”

“What? Tim that’s great!” Who’s it for?” Roger asked. Tim mumbled something unintelligible.

“Tim, darling, speak up,” Freddie said.

“It’s for the National Council for the Unmarried Mother and Her Child.”

“Oh! A charity, that’s good.” Brian said.

“What do they want with a rock band?” Roger asked.

“Haven’t the faintest Rog, but they’re willing to pay us to play, so I don’t really care. We’ll just have to adjust the set a little is all. Brian, how’s your new song coming?”

“Erm… It’s still got no lyrics.”

“Well, fix that, and then I think it’ll be perfect.”

“Well, I don’t really know what to write it about.” Technically, this was a lie, Brian wanted to write the song about Roger, but he didn’t that was a good idea.  
“Write it about a polar bear. We talked about them in my bio class the other day, they’re in danger because of hunting… I think? Maybe it’ll take off and everyone will be all save the polar bears and we’ll get to be on the BBC or something.” The four men laughed. Brian and Roger met each other’s eyes and smiled.

* * *

 

The following day Brian was consumed by thinking of lyrics for his song. He wanted to impress Roger by actually writing a song about a polar bear, but his writing was always controlled by his emotions and his feelings for Roger kept coming to the surface. Even though it had been months since he and Roger had hooked up, and they’d become good friends during that time, he still couldn’t stop the butterflies in his stomach he got when he saw Roger smile, or the warmth that filled his chest when the younger man laughed. in fact, the closer friends they became the more attractive Roger was to Brian. His professor was lecturing about black holes, but Brian’s notes were littered with snippets of lyrics and scratched out lines.

“To see him and he’ll be a star… Love him from where you are…” Brian mumbled to himself tapping his pen on his notebook.

“Mr. May!” The professor called out. Brian jumped and slammed his book closed. “Would you be so kind as to pay attention in my class?” A couple laughs scattered around the room. Brian blushed and mumbled an apology. The professor returned to lecturing and this time Brian did his best to pay attention.

Immediately after class Brian ran home. He was determined to finish the song before it got in his way anymore. He went into his bedroom and closed the door. He sat at his desk and started to write.

A couple of hours and several sheets of paper later Brian rested his head on his desk and groaned. He had only written two short verses and something that could be argued to be a chorus. He decided he should play and sing it, just to see if it sounded like what he was going for. He grabbed his guitar and sat on his bed facing away from the door.

When he was finished he stood up and turned around, intending to return to his desk. Then he noticed Roger standing in the doorway.

“Oh! Roger! How long have you been there?” Brian asked, feeling embarrassed

“Long enough.” Roger shrugged. “The song sounds good. I like it. What’s it about?”

“A polar bear, can’t you tell?” Brian teased.

“Oh, very funny, but no really, who’s it about?” Brian’s blood ran cold at the same time his face began to heat up.

“Roger, don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to,” Brian mumbled.

“Right…” Roger said tersely. “I’ll see you tomorrow Brian.”

“Roger wait-“ Brian started, but it was too late, Roger had already left. Brian flopped onto his bed and groaned in frustration.

* * *

 

Roger returned to his flat and threw himself into the beat-up old couch. Hot tears pricked at his eyes. Obviously, Brian had moved on, even if Roger hadn’t. He had tried his best to get over his feelings for Brian, but the older man made it difficult. At first, Roger had liked Brian because he was fit and talented. Now he had also discovered that Brian was kind and funny and smart. He was staring at the ceiling trying to stop himself from crying when Freddie walked in.

“Roger, darling, what’s the matter?” He said sitting next to Roger on the couch.

“It’s nothing, Fred,” Roger said wiping his eyes.

“Bullshit. Talk to me.”

“Just drop it, Freddie.”

“Absolutely not.” Roger and Freddie stared at each other stubbornly. Finally, after a few seconds, Roger gave in.

“Fine. Okay. It’s Brian…”

“What did he do?” Freddie looked ready to march over to Brian’s flat and strangle him.

“We… had sex, the night we first met. And then we decided it should be a one-time thing, for the good of the band you know? But I… I’ve got… feelings for him, and now he’s written his new song and it’s obvious he’s in love with someone.” Roger explained miserably.

“Oh… Darling…” Freddie hugged Roger.

“And I’m just… He’s right to move on, we can’t be together, but I think I love him.”

“Oh bollocks,” Freddie muttered as Roger sniffled into his shoulder. “Roger, what exactly happened at Brian and Tim’s flat?” Roger moved away from Freddie’s shoulder and took a deep breath.

“I went over to grab my jacket, since I’d left it there last night, and when I walked in, I heard music coming from Brian’s room, so I went to listen, and I walked in on him singing the end of the song, which was definitely about a girl he was in love with.” Freddie nodded solemnly. “And then when I asked about it, he had the nerve to say ‘Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to, Roger” Roger said, imitating Brian’s voice and demeanor. “The hell does that mean?”

“The nerve!” Freddie exclaimed in agreement. “But, I’m sure Brian’s just trying to protect your feelings. You know he’s not a bad guy, darling.”

“I know,” Roger mumbled.

“Now, chin up. We’ll go out this weekend and you can find someone even better than Brian.”

* * *

 

That Saturday, after their usual show, Roger slipped away from Brian and Tim. He ordered a beer from the bartender and made his way through the pub, looking for a girl or two to chat up. He tried to stay in Brian’s line of sight, secretly hoping he could make the older man jealous. He managed to get stopped by an attractive brunette who complimented him on the show. Despite the uneasy feeling in his stomach, he flirted with her. She flirted back. Laughing lightly and touching Roger’s arm.  
Meanwhile, Brian watched sadly. He had known that Roger’s infatuation with him would fade eventually, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t upset about it. Brian jumped when he felt a sudden clap on his shoulder. It was Tim. The other man sat down next to Brian.

“What’s the matter, mate?” He asked. When Brian didn’t answer, Tim followed his friend’s gaze. “Ah. Listen, Bri, it’s for the best.” Brian nodded sadly.

“I know, I know,” He said. “But, I think… I’m falling in love with him.”

“Bloody hell Brian!” Tim hissed. “Well, stop that. Roger’s moving on, so should you. I’ve never seen anyone this worked up over a one night stand before.” Brian sighed and drank his beer. He knew Tim had a point, and he was starting to hate when Tim was right. He had returned to staring sadly into his pint of beer when Freddie walked over to the table.

“Brian, darling, why the long face?” He said sitting across Brian with his own pint of beer. Brian opened his mouth to say something, but Tim cut him off.

“Bri’s just upset he’s not getting any,” Tim said.

“Oh, well, that’s an easy fix. You’re a rockstar, my dear! Anyone caught your eye?” Freddie asked mischievously.

“There’s someone, but they’ve made it clear they’re not interested,” Brian said sadly.

“Well, that’s rotten luck, but you are in a pub where you just played a show, there are plenty of people here who would love to go home with you.”

“If it’s all the same to you, Fred, I think I’d rather just sit here and drink my beer.”

At the end of the night, Roger went home with the brunette and Brian tried not to be jealous.

* * *

 

After that, Roger started, well Brian wanted to call it dating, but really Roger was just picking up girls everywhere they went. Their study sessions in the library had turned into Roger chatting up girls while Brian ground his teeth and read the same paragraph over and over again. He flirted his way through work at the market stall, he was selling slightly more, but mostly he was just driving Freddie insane. Roger had even started bringing girls to Smile shows, hardly ever the same girl twice. Rehearsal was the only time Brian and Roger spent any time alone together anymore, and it was riddled with tension.

“For fuck's sake Brian! You’re so slow!” Roger yelled, stopping the song in the middle.

“Slow? I’m not slow! You’re rushing. As Usual!” Brian yelled back.

“I am not! I’m on beat, you’re behind!”

“You know, I actually thought it sounded fine,” Tim said.

“Shut up Tim!” Brian and Roger yelled at the same time.

“Oi! I’m just trying to help!”

“You can help by staying on pitch!” Roger said.

“Leave Tim out of this! His singing has nothing to do with the fact that you’re rushing the song!”

“You’re the one playing too bloody slow!”

“I wrote the song! I know how fast it should go!”

“Alright, that’s it!” Roger said and tackled Brian to the ground. The two wrestled for a moment before Tim stepped in and pulled Roger off of Brian.

“Jesus Christ! Stop it you twats! We’ve got a concert in four days!” Tim let go of Roger but immediately stepped between him and Brian. “Okay, we’re all a little on edge. Let’s just call it a night and pick it up again tomorrow. That’ll give you two some time to sort yourselves out. We’ve got a concert, at Albert Hall, in three days, you two cannot be acting like this.” Feeling properly chastised, Brian and Roger mumbled an apology. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m going for a smoke. Go home.” Tim put his base in its case, put his jacket on and left. Brian and Roger followed suit without saying a word.

* * *

 

The concert was great. Sure, it wasn’t without its faults, but they had all stayed on pace for all four of the songs they played, nothing broke, nobody got injured, which given the week Smile had had leading up to playing Albert Hall was a small miracle. Which is why, even though it was late on a Thursday night, and quickly approaching Friday morning, Brian agreed to go out and celebrate. He figured he could just have a pint or two and then head home. He’d have no problem getting up for his lecture in the morning.

The problems began when the trio stopped at a nightclub instead of a pub or a bar. Pubs were comfortable for Brian, he liked to drink in peace, and dancing was never his favorite activity. But Roger was bursting with energy after the show, so he was outvoted. They were stopped at the door. The doorman refused to let them in.

“Oh, well, we tried. We should probably just head back now.” Brian said hopefully.

“Nah, come on man, we just played a show at Albert Hall!” Tim told the doorman, who just shook his head, completely stone-faced.

“I got an idea,” Roger said, and before Brian could say anything he slipped away. Brian followed Roger with his eyes and saw exactly what his idea had been. He had gone over to a couple of girls who were approaching the night club. Brian recognized his body language immediately. Roger was flirting. Brian couldn’t even hear what they were saying, his blood boiled. Tim had a hold on his wrist, probably to keep him from going after Roger. His sense eventually returned in time for Roger to introduce the two girls, and for the five of them to go inside.

Brian was sure that Karen, (or was it Carmen?) was a very nice girl, but despite his best efforts, he just couldn’t make himself interested. She was beautiful, with auburn hair and long legs. For all intents and purposes, Brian should have been thrilled with the way she was working so hard to get his attention, but all he could focus on was Roger and the other girl, Misty, (Or was it Kristy, god, Brian hated this girl and he didn’t even know her name.) Carmen, (or Karen) excused herself to the bathroom, and as soon as her back was turned, Tim smacked Brian upside the head.

“What’s wrong with you?” He said. “You’ve got a gorgeous girl all over you, and you’re completely ignoring her, so you can pine after Roger?”

“Well, when you put it like that,” Brian mumbled. The conversation ended abruptly when Roger came over with vodka shots. That’s where Brian’s troubles got infinitely worse. The alcohol helped him forget, helped him calm down. He’d had two more by the time Karen (Carmen?) returned, and with the alcohol in his system it much easier to be receptive to her advances. He still didn’t want to sleep with her, but he wasn’t ignoring her anymore. Tim flashed him a thumbs up and handed him another drink. Eventually, the girls dragged Brian and Roger out to the dance floor. Brian hated dancing, but he was drunk enough that he didn’t care. He glanced over at Roger and saw him kissing the girl he had been dancing with. All the feelings he’d drunk away came rushing back and he scowled. He returned his attention to the girl he was dancing with and tried to put Roger out of his mind.

He didn’t last long. Roger walked over to Brian a few minutes later.

“You’re welcome, Brian.” Roger sing-songed.

“And why am I thanking you?” Brian asked, deadpan.

“I got us in here, remember.” Brian did remember.

“Oh, well, in that case, thanks for being such a slut, Roger.” Brian regretted it as soon as he said it, but of course, the damage was done.

“Wow, fuck you, Brian. I was only trying to have some fun. I’m sure you read about fun in a textbook at some point?”

“I know exactly what you were trying to do Roger, and trust me, no one appreciates how easy you are more than me.” Brian spat. Hurt flashed through Roger’s eyes and he smacked Brian in the face. Before Brian could do anything else, Roger ran out of the club.

* * *

 

The next morning, Brian groaned as sunlight hit his face. He had fallen asleep on the couch in his flat, it was too short for him and his spine popped as he sat up.

“Oh good. You’re awake.” Tim said, louder than was necessary. Brian groaned again.

“Ugh, my head,” Brian said rubbing his eyes.

“You know, I hope you’re in a lot of pain.” Brian was confused for a moment, then he remembered yelling at Roger.

“Oh god, I called him a slut.” Brain curried his face in his hands.

“Yep. In front of probably a dozen people, you said he was easy too.” Tim sipped his coffee. There was laughter in his voice, but he wasn't smiling.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” Brian muttered to himself. “Tim, what am I going to do?”

“You’ll have to apologize if he ever talks to you again.”

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then you better make him. If you’ve killed this band, Brian, I will end you.”


End file.
